The Conscience of Jamie Dimon (twitter)
Senator Elizabeth Warren is an outspoken critic of the banking industry. In response, Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JP Morgan Chase, said to a room full of executives in Chicago: "I don't know if she fully understands the global banking system".
She probably just needed a man to explain it to her. The day after this comment, I started a twitter account for Jamie Dimon's conscience. Because the actual Jamie Dimon doesn't have a twitter, this account gets linked to in serious financial journalism (I know right?) and because of that I get lots of angry people in my mentions writing in ALL CAPS complaining to me about their overdraft fees, or lately, about bitcoin. Whatever, I'm just a clueless white guy holding my position at the top.
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Davosboros, my new lecture performance that plunges into the depths of the psychological disorders of elites: https://t.co/mmhpCNpnfM -
A lot of you are messaging me about virtue signalling. I have millennial daughters (and they explain all the new bu… https://t.co/0t7VRBX7rC -
I would say more, but surely you know that JP Morgan Chase is a legal structure, not a bullhorn for my personal opinions.
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I'm back. https://t.co/jdfdDqkMtw
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I'm socially liberal yet fiscally conservative. Deal with it.
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At first, there was barbarism, then came civilization and after that, hypocrisy. After hypocrisy comes more barbarism.
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I don't think #elizabethwarren needs me to explain banking to her anymore, look at what she did to #Stumpf: https://t.co/k64hii9wMM
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Should I stay or should I go? Either way men like me will carve an opportunity out of chaos #Brexit
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There are no hopeless situations for capitalism.
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Market volatility is no excuse. There is opportunity everywhere.
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I'm dressing as the 99% for Halloween and everyone is going to think I'm a zombie
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A bond is called a bond for a reason. It is what unites us. I believe in the civilizing force of capitalism.
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Typical Saturday night. #bacanal http://t.co/ySYi33fjDr
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Clearly #piggate is mismanagement
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The definition of exclusive is that there must be some ritual that prompts exclusion. #piggate
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RT @mhayden4me: @emo_jamie_dimon thank you for making the world a better place. I liked what you said on TV. Congress should live by that principle.
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I'm a needle in the chase haystack #ashleymadisonhack
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Considering the amount of @Chase.com emails that #AshleyMadison has I'm not worried about my personal info at all.
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No man has ever hung from the rafters of a second home. #imfine #notafelon
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I ride a helicopter to work. Being removed from reality works for me. The problem with a topography is that a donut looks like a coffee cup.